Lucha Underground Results and Review
Airdate: September 7, 2016
We Write Wrestling – @WeWriteWrestlin
Everybody’s favorite violence enthusiast has a new toy. Also: Honky Tonk Man!! Let’s get into The Temple!
Matanza Cueto vs. Son of Havoc
Lucha Underground Championship Match
One of the greatest parts of Lucha Underground is the singular universe it resides in and the logic that universe obeys. The whims of Dario Cueto are to be obeyed, hence Dario’s Dial of Doom. Allowing the fate of the championship to a game show prop in the hands of anyone else would be hot garbage. In The Temple it is a gateway to insane Professional Wrestling magic.
The Monster Matanza Cueto and Son of Havoc (the winner of Dario’s Dial of Doom) have an amazing match. The fluidity of LU matches is miles ahead of most promotions and Son of Havoc is an exemplary challenger because of his ability maintain kinetic gracefulness while hurling his body into the morass of violence. Matanza is impossibly strong and is the evolution of the Brawling Hoss archetype. As capable in midair flips as gnarly slams and strikes, The Monster presents a formidable barrier to the championship. Recommended match!
Winner: Matanza Cueto (via pinfall following a Wrath of the Gods)
Sexy Star vs. Taya
Gift of the Gods Championship Match
The innovative narrative segments that stitch together the matches and storylines separate Lucha Underground even further from their competition. Applying even a tiny amount of logic into match decisions is immensely gratifying and this championship match is a great example. Taya’s winning ways are rewarded over the squeaky-wheel demands of partner Johnny Mundo. Rather than randomly throwing people together, contests seem more organic despite the supernatural bent of the promotion.
The match itself is good but both wrestlers have fared better in previous episodes. Taya is the standout however and she remains one of the best competitors on the LU roster.
Winner: Sexy Star (via pinfall following a Schoolgirl Roll Up)
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark
Words will not do this match justice. It proves the common thought that we are amidst the best time to be a fan of Professional Wrestling in history. The pacing, moves and storytelling are exemplary. Pentagon Dark might be the best wrestler working today…his visual menace and technical ability create an otherworldly mystique that is extraordinary to behold. Drop everything and watch this match as soon as possible. Recommended match!
Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr. (via pinfall following a Flip Piledriver)
Notes from The Temple
- Honky Tonk Man makes an awesome cameo when Dario exits jail. Also: who are the shadowy figures pulling Dario’s strings?!!
- Dario calling Vampiro a “pig” is Epic Burn of the Week.
- Worldwide Underground and Dario exulting in Angelico’s injury is GLORIOUS.
- Ivelisse calls out Katrina for a match at Ultima Lucha 3.
- How Marty The Moth maintains his drippy grossness is perhaps the biggest mystery in all of Lucha Underground.