TNA Impact (Aug. 4) BFG Playoff Finals and Rosemary’s secret.

Ladies and Gentleman my name is Reagan Cole and this is my review for Impact for the 4th of August. Big Impact here as EC3 goes against Mike Bennett to see who will face The destroyer Bobby Lashley and plus we finally get to know what happened between Rosemary and “Johnny”, let’s get into it.

Drew Galloway segment

So the first segment of the show is footage from last week where Drew Galloway is visibly fuming and says that he would say what he was planning to do to EC3, That video would be used as evidence. In other words Drew’s gonna kill him! Drew’s gonna kill him!

EC3/Bennett Segment

Then we fast forward to this weeks Impact where good old Jeremy Borash is standing in the centre of the ring and his main purpose is to hype the main event. Borash then invites Bennett to the ring first who is accompanied by Maria. Then Borash introduces Mike’s opponent, Ethan Carter the 3rd. Still love that theme song by the way. Jeremy asks both of the opponents, what are their final thoughts before the Playoff finals and of course, Mike talks first to the dismay of the crowd who want EC3 to talk first which Mike responds with “guess it pays to have an auntie in high places” Straight off the bat with the normal insults to Auntie D. The crowd is really into this segment, chanting shut the hell up at The Miracle. And it’s made clear that EC3 just wants to fight him later and Ethan tries to go backstage and Mike stops him and demands EC3 to turn back around which Ethan does in a very over-the-top way. Mike claims that Dixie Carter has tried to screw Bennett over since the day he debuted in TNA, and she gave him the hardest road to Bound for Glory which does look like it to be fair. Mike also thanked Carter for helping him last week against Drew Galloway. Bennett then says that he’s always said that him and EC3 were destined to do this forever then Bennett made some references that I didn’t get. And EC3 lashes back and praises Mike and mentions last time they faced, Ethan won so that would make their match a rubber match. Bennett says that anything Carter can do, Mike can do better in a reference I got! Finally! Then Mike brags about it took Carter 2 years to get to the top and Mike could do it in less than 1. Then he refers himself to Tom Brady. And we’re back to the references that I don’t understand. Michael says he’s always going to be first and Ethan will always be at the back and of course Ethan says he is the actual Tom Brady because he’s handsome. I had to google Tom Brady now and he looks more like Mike Bennett to be honest. Anyway Carter then goes on to call Maria the following: Big, Nasty, Mean, Destructive and says that she stinks a little bit. I went to the toilet just before this and came back when he started listing the insults and I thought he was talking about something else for a second. Mike promises that if Ethan loses focus for one second then he will lose. I wonder who Mike is talking about…That was a lot for the first segment and it’s not over? Moose comes out and does his taunt but Mike blindsides Carter and Moose joins in the 2 on 1 attack and it’s over when Moose sets Ethan on the top rope and does that two-handed sit out chokeslam. That’s the best way I can describe it. I feel like this segment went on a bit too long and they could have shortened it a bit, maybe take Jeremy Borash out of there and just have EC3 interrupt Bennett before he went to speak so some time would be shortened but it was a good segment and again, like I said last week, shows Bennett as a guy who will take any shortcut he can.

Eli Drake segment

So then we go backstage again to see Mr Eli Drake in the same position that Galloway was in at the start of the show. He says that everybody else is talking too much and the only one that needs to speak is himself. Drake brags that EC3 and Bennett and Lashley are not the King of the Mountain Champion. Drake doing a really good job at elevating that title, I must say. I’m quite impressed. Then he says that after tonight James Storm are going to be crying Crocodile tears and Crocodile Beers and that’s not an insult, it’s a fact of life. Oh snap! Good to know that TV title match is tonight because it wasn’t made clear last week.

Bramary segment

This is just a segment that recaps last week’s Impact where Rosemary discusses her cat and stuff and OMG this Impact has way too much filler already, it didn’t add anything to the story!

James Storm vs Eli Drake

Hey a match! And it’s for the King of the Mountain Championship and James Storm goes against Eli Drake and if Storm loses, he can never drink beer or have his theme song or go on his beer stroller. Lot of risks for James Storm in this match so Storm took the fight to Eli before the match while Drake was having his entrance. Then Eli Drake came back with a guillotine on the top rope. Eli used the ropes to his advantage a couple of times in his match. James Storm then hit Drake with an atomic drop and clothesline combination then followed it up with a leg to the head and a neckbreaker for the 2 count. Drake then escaped the Eye of the Storm just to get spinebustered then Storm went to the top rope but Eli Drake caught him in a superplex and Oklahoma slam, then Storm reverses a title belt shot to the head with eye of the storm. Then James almost got Beer sprayed in his face by Eli but the ref got instead then Eli hit Storm with the title belt for a very close two count. And in the end Eli went to jump from the ropes even though it was clearly not in reach of Storm so James hit him with a Last Call to the face for the new King of the mountain champion of James Storm. Did want Drake to keep that title a bit longer but we get a feel good moment for James and it wasn’t a bad match

Match Rating: 6/10

Storm/Lashley segment

So after Storm’s match with Drake, The world champion and the X-division champion who they call Bobby Lashley comes out and congratulates Storm on his win but refers to the other sports and compared their championships to a NBA Cup. I don’t know why so Storm tries to make this relevant to actual wrestling and brings up when he first won the belt and the interesting part about that is that James didn’t say Kurt Angle’s name and refers to him as “a Olympic Champion” In other words, KURT ANGLE WWE RETURN CONFIRMED! No it isn’t but it’s very suspicious considering the fact that I thought Angle left on good terms. Interesting. Then Storm claims that since he beat Angle in a minute, he could beat Lashley in 30 seconds. This isn’t going to end well, I can already tell. So Lashley mentions that he wants all of the titles and says that James has something, Lashley wants, James says the same thing to Lashley then Storm claims that he is not scared of anyone then he praises Lashley for being a badass. Then Storm says that Lashley’s fists are going to be sore from punching Storm in the face but Storms foot is going to be sore from kicking Lashleys teeth down his throat. So Bobby issues the same challenge that he did with Eddie Edwards. Title for Title match. And like I said last week, Storm likes title shots so he accepted and called Bobby a bitch as he accepted. And Lashley says that Storm is going to regret it and again nobody has a clue when this is taking place! Dammit TNA!

Kim/Maria segment

So Gail Kim wants to find out who she is facing tonight and Allie says that there is so many to choose from then Maria comes into the frame and shouts at Allie for thinking of an idea but Allie continues to be a pain so Maria announces Allie as Kim’s next opponent. Yep, Maria’s assistant is thrown into a match because why not? Both people are confused by the decision and the match is next.

Bramary part 2 segment:

More filler, turns out because they don’t do anything other than make Rosemary desperate to tell Bram the final part in other words, JUST TELL US ALREADY!

Gail Kim vs Allie & Sienna

So Kim impossible (Someone get that reference) faces Allie who I feel slightly sorry for but not really. It’s a strange feeling but Allie looks absolutely petrified but before the match Maria decides to change the match to a handicap match so it’s Gail Kim vs Allie AND The TNA Knockouts Champion of Sienna so this is going to be an interesting match. I like the good story telling in this match as Allie and Sienna play a teacher and student kind of relationship against Kim with Sienna teaching Allie how to kick a person in the ribs. Good storytelling from the Knockouts roster. And as soon as Kim gets a bit of offense, Allie runs and tags in Sienna who takes out Gail very easily. Or Allie hits one move then tags in Sienna, it’s a very interesting dynamic they’re playing. So Gail takes out Sienna and it’s not good for Allie as Gail Kim went for the eat-defeat then Sienna comes in and hits the AK47 and Allie manages to pin her but it suddenly gets a two count. Thank God, I actually fought she was going to lose. (Sarcasm Detected) And in the end Sienna hit the Silencer on Allie by mistake which lead to Gail Kim to dropkick Sienna out of the ring and Kim pinned Allie for the win. Also we’re halfway through and there’s been two matches. Come on TNA, less talking, more fighting.

Match Rating: 5/10

Broken Matt Hardy segment

It goes backstage and Matt is going crazy because according to Matt, Jeff cost Matt his spot in the Bound for Glory playoffs which really wasn’t Jeff’s fault but whatever, he mentions the TNA Tag team championship story and how he is going to tell his own story in the Impact Zone.

Okay so since Britain doesn’t have Impact until Saturday, I have to watch it online and now it’s skipped ahead to the middle of the Broken Matt Hardy Segment. Apologies if there was another segment before this. Anyway I’m now up to the point when Matt Hardy is shouting at Brother Nero in the ring that he betrayed him and he’s pretty much saying the same thing in the segment before this. You can tell they didn’t get enough footage from the tapings for this show. So Matt says Jeff needs to put the money back into Matt’s pocket and now Jeff has to get the tag team titles that The Hardys never lost but he has to face them on his own and he is banned from going to the top rope. So Matt brings out Jeff’s opponents of “Brother Nero Dunn and Brother Nero Chuck” Matt couldn’t be bothered to find out what Taylor & Dunn’s middle names are didn’t it?

Chuck Taylor & JT Dunn vs The Hardy Boyz

So this was just another handicap match so JT Dunn and Chuck ambushed Brother Nero before the match and these two worked really well considering they were on a one night deal, I believe. Matt did amazing commentary as he had a go at the fans for chanting Jeff Hardy because Matt deleted Hardy but doesn’t that mean the crowd have to pay money to Matt if they say Jeff so wouldn’t Matt want them to chant Jeff Hardy? And before you get ideas, I don’t count because I don’t say Jeff Hardy anymore, I write the name Jeff Hardy down. It’s completely different. So Chuck and JT have frequent tags between two and not bad tag team moves. Then Matt grabs a fan and brings him over the barricade and starts biting his face! What!? When the hell did this become Twilight? What? A bit over the top and I doubt Matt’s even going to get consequences for that like arrested for assault because WRESTLING. Now Matt has fake blood on his face. Then Matt starts to literally go crazy by saying something into the microphone and Jeff gets in control and Chuck Taylor takes two Twists of fate but when Jeff Hardy goes to do the same to Dunn, JT performs a handstand instead and superkicks Jeff in the face. Amazing counter though. So in the end Brother Nero goes screw it and goes to the top rope and Matt tries to stop him but Jeff leaps over him and hits the swanton bomb on JT Dunn which leads to Broken Matt giving Nero the Twist of fate then Matt tags himself in to steal the victory in interesting fashion.

Al Snow/Tribunal segment

Al hypes up the Tribunal and that’s it. Yep.

Mahabali Shera and Grado vs. The Tribunal

So…Grado and Shera have no friends and Grado spent all his money on Lucky eggs in Pokemon Go to hire Tyrus again so it’s a handicap match. 2(possibly 3 if you count the Hardys vs JT/Taylor match) Handicap matches in one night. I’ll admit I don’t simply care about this feud and I want it to be over. I can’t even tell the two guys of the Tribunal apart, the only person I know of this group is Al Snow. So The Tribunal stopped Grado from tagging out for the start of the match and Shera tried to get into the ring about 5 times. Oh and Josh Matthews called Grado the new Dusty Rhodes. NO. I personally think Grado is overrated and the fact that Josh would have even think of that comparison is despicable. Anyway, getting off track. So at a point in the match, Grado tried a cross body on Snow and Al just got up nearly straight away. Well done on that selling mate. Grado catches Al in a small package but the heels distract the ref and Snow kicks out but it allows Grado to tag in Shera. And Shera is mad as hell so he scoop slams everybody! Then Grado comes back in and hits the bionic elbows on Snow. They both hit stereo slams but Al try to hit Shera with the Knux but Shera stops it and hits Snow with the Sky high. This match was just not entertaining at all.

Math Rating: 3/10

Bramary: Mockingjay segment

So we finally get the conclusion to Rosemary’s story where she says that nothing could prepare her for what happened on Valentines Day. Of course it was. So Rosemary goes to give the mysterious Johnny the card that she signed with blood but then Johnny put his hand on her leg. Oh no, this is going in a bad direction. Nevermind, nothing happened because she said that Johnny was just like the others and they broke up, I think? So Rosemary made a potion that would make Johnny’s blood black. Ah, teenage love. So now we get out of the flashback to Bram and Rosemary sitting on a bench. Bram’s getting tired so he almost goes until Rosemary stops him but Bram tells her to get over her heartbreak. So Rosemary goes Psycho and starts screaming. Then Steve & Abyss comes outta nowhere and attacks Bram. What? then they kidnap him and put in the trunk. This thing happened and they happened very quickly. Also while I’m here, I kinda want this Johnny guy to be an actual wrestler so he could come to TNA to haunt Rosemary in a the hunter becomes the hunted kind of thing. They could maybe get someone like

EC3/Bennett

So the Bound of Glory Playoff is here and Ethan Carter not even trying to sell the assault from before. So we have the normal introduction of each wrestler. And it’s now made very clear that Lashley vs Storm is happening next week. That’s interesting. Michael Bennett is in control during the start, working on the ribs and turns out Carter is struggling to breath according to The Pope who is actually a pretty good commentator. Bennett throws Ethan into the ropes and Carter rolls up Mike for a 2 count then they collide with a double cross body which ends up with EC3 crashing on top of Mike Bennett which almost looked like a botch but I’m not sure. Carter starts to build some momentum and he goes for a splash in the corner but Mike gets out-of-the-way and gives Ethan a ticket to Suplex City with two German suplexes but Ethan reverses the 3rd one into his own German suplex. Then Mike tries to go after Carter just to get a flapjack to the face. Carter goes for the One Percenter just to be thrown off by Mike but Ethan gets a school boy on Bennett but he changes it to a powerbomb which gets a near 2 count. This is a quite good match to be honest. Ethan hits a Russian leg sweep into the middle turnbuckle and Carter goes to the top but Mike catches up to him and hits a cutter off the top rope! And Ethan still kicks out at two so Maria goes to desperate measures and gets a kendo stick but Brian Hebner, the son of the only referee to have a t-shirt on TNA’s shop, stands on the kendo stick and makes sure Bennett can’t get it and then Brian sends Maria out of there! And as everybody watches Maria pull a proper temper tantrum, Mike goes to hit Carter with the kendo stick but Ethan reverses it into the One Percenter but Mike kicks out at 2.9. Moose then arrives and distracts the ref only for Eddie freaking Edwards to come out of nowhere and senton out of the ring onto Moose! So the ref gets distracted again which allows Michael to hit Ethan in the ribs with the kendo stick and hits the M.I.P then it’s Ethan’s turn to kick out at 2.9! Then Carter goes for a cobra clutch but Bennett goes for the same trick he used to beat EC3 the first time but it fails because Ethan kicks out again in other words. SUPER CARTER! Let’s make that a thing! Ethan then goes for another One Percenter then Bennett reverses into a M.I.P but Carter reverses that into a One Percenter which Mike reverses into a clothesline which misses which gives EC3 the opportunity to finally hit the One Percenter again to get the 1,2,3. Phew. Somebody get me a bottle of water! Anyway Carter wins to and advances to face the champ at Bound for Glory in a gripping match for sure.

Match Rating: 8/10

Best Match of the night: BFG Playoff final
Worst match of the night: Grado & Shera
Best Segment: EC3 vs Mike Bennett
Worst segment: The first two Rosemary promos
Overall rating: 6/10
Predictions for next week: Lashley defeats Storm and Jeff faces another team

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