TNA has my brain tied in knots. I get the sense that in the Star Trek: The Next Generation universe, TNA footage was the only Pro Wrestling footage that survived and as such, all holodeck simulations calling for wrestling were based on Impact. All the fundamentals are in place but the scale is off. Also, Billy Corgan as a TNA Front Office HR manager is my new reason for living. Let’s get into the ring…
Editor’s Note: Sean had some personal things to attend to earlier this week resulting in this review being written and posted later than usual. Apologies for the inconvenience.
TNA Impact Wrestling “Revenge”
April 5, 2016
Universal Studios – Orlando, Florida
Jeff Hardy vs. Eric Right
Six Sides of Steel Match
Eric Right is legit scary. I can’t wait to see where he is going and how he exits TNA. Jeff Hardy is amazing too but the match was a bit flat with the exception of the end. Hardy leaping off the cage through tables, covered in face paint is always a beautiful thing…but The Crowd is just not there with anything. In a smaller context the match would be burly. Both guys are fantastic but there is something off.
Lashley vs. Pope
I love Bobby Lashley. His style is an evolution of the Road Warriors/Ultimate Warrior power style…there is constant forward momentum and lack of remorse. Lashley shows 0.0% remorse for knocking the ring rust off of Pope who, to his credit, delivers a perfectly executed Side Russian Leg Sweep. The Lashley/ECIII match they tease would be one to watch.
TNA Knockouts Championship
Gail Kim vs. Jade vs. Madison Rayne
Triple Threat Match
This match features, as far as I can tell, ¾ of the Knockouts Division. Gail Kim is too good. She does this Hurricanrana/Wristlock combo that so sweet that it’s a damn shame that the field of competitors is not dense enough to really have as exciting a division as WWE or NXT. Thanks to the First Lady of Wrestling Maria Kanellis and an interference allows Jade to pick up her first TNA Knockouts Championship.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy
This match kind of just dissolves which is shame because Hardy is a terrific heel from the Buddy Landel School for Materialistic Jerks and Drew Galloway is a tall drink of water who kneels to presents the belt to the ref…so totally adorable. These guys can go but the crowd doesn’t follow along and that sucks. Hopefully it’ll be better next week?
Notes from the Impact Zone
Al Snow being admonished by Corgan for beating up Grado: WHY IS THIS NOT THE A STORY???!!!! Seriously…it’s a license to print money.
If Maria Kanellis is in the ring GIVE HER THE MIC. She’s the best talker in the building and putting her on the sidelines between ECIII and Mike Bennett is not Best For Business.
X-Division: how about a match tho?
The Crowd is as much of a villain as anybody and there may be no helping that unless they move or something. Such a weird vibe all the time.