It’s that time of year again. The time of year we all wait for. The wrestling fans Christmas. Its WrestleMania bay bay! I’ll be writing this piece as I watch Mania live as a result it will be in chronological order naturally. This is a journey into my tiny mind. It’s not really a review article, its sort of a list. It’s my caffeine fueled WrestleMania listicle!
Over here in the U.K the show runs from 10pm until around 4am so there’s a chance this article may end in a whole load of zees. But I have monster energy, sugary sweets and pizza to fuel me so hopefully that s not gonna happen and I can bring you some of my key happenings, spots, highs, lows, matches and moments from WrestleMania!
Sami Zayn vs Shinsuke Nakamura
For me Mania started on Friday. The reason for that was NXT Takeover Dallas. I feel it would be remiss of me to not mention this because it was, quite simply, one of the best wrestling shows I have ever seen. Every match on the card was excellent but the Zayn v Nakamura was a five-star clinic between two of the best professional wrestlers in the world today. If for some crazy reason you have yet to see it I implore you to catch it as soon as possible and thank me later.
13. Kalisto appreciation
I really don’t like The Ryback. Its not a recent thing. I’ve never got him and can’t remember ever really giving a toss about him. Kalisto on the other hand is fast becoming a favorite of mine. This was another example of how much he has improved and how he can have a decent match with just about anyone, even The Hungry guy or whatever dodgy nickname were supposed to give him nowadays. He’s eliminated the mistakes from his repertoire and can bump as well as anyone on the current roster. Oh and that outfit…is…legit!
Also of note. WWE have always been excellent at making great video packages. So far they’re easily the best thing about the Pre-show.
12. The Diva payday match
I get that a big part of Mania is to get everyone on the roster a payday and I’m fine with that really. I just feel like with a 2 hour (yes 2 hour!) pre-show, could we not split this match up and have Paige, Emma, Natty and Brie (the good ones) in one match and all the other less good ones (the bad ones) in another match. There are actually a few decent spots in this one though. Naomi bouncing off the ropes after a missed cross body was pretty awesome and Brie channelling Her husband Daniel Bryan (miss you Daniel, miss you everyday buddy) for the finish was pretty sweet. Also, I’m not sure if I should admit this, I popped a little for Nikki.
First can of monster opened…
11. Lita, Women and those damn Dudleys!
Turns out I’m still in love with Lita. Just the mention of Sasha got the biggest pop of the show so far. Also I really dig that new Women’s title and we can finally stop calling them f***ing Divas! Although “Total Women” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Mauro Ranallo should commentate everything, all the time.
Is Bubba Ray Dudley drunk? Either way hes talking a lot which I dig. He needs a solo heel run asap. I really like Devon but we all know Bubba is the brains and…wait what…was that it? Double table spot was petty sweet. The Usos should do that sort of stuff more and they might get over a bit more.
Mauro Ranallo really is awesome.
2 slices of pizza down…
10. Ladders…lots of ladders…
ITS WRESTLEMANIA BAY BAAAAAY!
Is Sin Cara taking the piss with them shoulder pads!? They are comically big. In fact, whats with everyone wearing coats? is it a new wrestler trend?
I really love Sami Zayn. The first face off between Owens and Zayn was electric. It’s basically a Sami vs KO match early on. The others are just providing rest spots so they can go at it. Sin Cara looks like a create-a-wrestler that someone forgot to pick colours for. That top rope spring tope thing was badass tho! The Dusty ladder is rad. I could watch Zayn and Owens wrestle forever and never ever get bored. So many great spots in this match. Everyone is looking good, even Long Island iced Z. Also I’m pretty sure “the elbro drop” is the best name for a move ever.
That was more or less a Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens match that Zach Ryder won…and I really enjoyed it. Great start to Mania.
monster number 2 opened and gummy worms…
9. Heel Jericho is Phenomenal
Jericho is camouflaged against the entrance ramp like a dad bodded chameleon. I really do like heel Jericho. I think its his best work. The build to this match has been great too and got me really excited for this one. AJ is excellent too. I’m pretty sure the styles clash is the most teased move ever. If not its in the top 3. He hits maybe 1 in 10? I didn’t get that finish at all. Who does it help? Just made AJ look weak there. Great match, odd finish.
8. New Day Rocks!
That giant box of booty Os is absolutely amazing! The New Days outfits are amazing! It’s all so amazing! What a crazy good entrance. Even the League’s entrance was funny with em trying to deal with the booty Os all over the stage. I don’t get why on the grandest stage of them all the tag titles aren’t being defended. A short but surprisingly good match and an oddly rushed finish. Not that it matters much but you kind of make your tag champs look weak when they lose that easily as entertaining as they are.
Reece’s peanut butter cup (big one)…
7. HBK, Foley and Stone Cold!!!
I just marked out so damn hard it hurt! HBK, Mick and Austin all in the ring at the same time. In their gear!? Dishing out sweet chin music and mandible claws and Stunners!?!? The roof just got blown off that place. All 3 looked great, it justified the finish to the 6 man tag and gave Barrett a good send off. I even enjoyed Woods getting a stunner. That my friends, is how you do a WrestleMania moment! Absolutely awesome stuff!
6. Brrrrrrrock Lesnar and the Lunatic
Now the real Mania starts! After that last segment the crowd is hot as hell and what better match to build on that than a Texas death match, sorry, street fight, nowhere at all near a street. Always annoyed me that has. Dean is basically hitting Brock with all the things. If he can grab it, he’s gonna hit Brock with it. I think Ambrose is legitimately crazy. He sells crazy to well to not be. Shout out to the Dallas crowd for the Tye Dillinger chant for 10 suplexes, good work there. I wanted blood from this match. It was just getting good and then it finished. That was an anti-climax if ever I saw one. What a waste of a build. Mega build up, weak match when you think what it could have been. I had that as possible match of the night. It wasn’t crap but it wasn’t at all what it should have been.
5. Legends and Women!
I like this bit where they bring the hall of fame people out. In fact, I think that’s all the hall of fame we need. I always want the H.O.F to be awesome but I usually get bored about an hour in and skip watch the rest.
I’m so happy about them dropping the Divas tag. It was outdated and to me a little disrespectful to the female athletes. Always love to see Snoop. Even more so when he’s with the boss. He should have stuck around at ring side and shot the s**t with Flair while the match was happening. I also really dig that new belt, sorry, title. All 3 of these ladies are incredible. Right from the off there is a great multiple pin attempt spot. They need to get rid of Rick after tonight. He’s run his course and is just a liability at this point. I worry every time he climbs the apron. I love ya Rick but its time to take a bow. This is a really good match. Some good near falls and Sasha is running things but all 3 girls look great. Rick took a bump! Is that ok? He’s so old it doesn’t seem right! Charlotte’s moonsault is B-E-A-Utiful! Probably the best match of the night so far in my book. Excellent work from all 3 ladies and a well deserved win for Charlotte. Would have liked to see a title change but still great.
2 pizza slices, more monster…
4. The Deadman cometh…
Taker’s entrance was ace as usual. That flames and electricity stuff reeks of badassery. I expected this one on last so it’ll be interesting to see how this goes down. I really into Shane being back. I hope he sticks around for a while. Did the cage always rattle like its made of meccano? Seems a bit flimsyer than usual. I was expecting a stunt fest but so far its just a pretty good wrestling match. Shane O’Mac has been training hard. I always pop for that coast to coast drop kick. I’ve seen it a lot and it’s still impressive. When did the Germans move into the Spanish announce table? I feel like i should have known about this…I don’t like change. Daaaaam! There’s the stunt man. That table spot had to hurt! Shane McMahon is absolutely insane! I can’t believe that spot. Incredible! What a great match. Perfectly paced. Shane has still got it in spades. I hope it’s not the last we see of Shane O.
Hang on a second. Weren’t we meant to have the Andre battle royale at some point? Did I have a caffeine blackout and miss it? Weird if it’s so late in the card unless something major is gonna happen.
3. Battle Royale with cheese
Ahh there it is. Seems a strange spot on the card for…what the…is that…Shaq!? What is going on? Am I having some sort of monster induced fever dream? Also where are the Wyatts? None of them in there at all? Nice to see Baron Corbin, Tatanka and DDP… I guess… OH MY GOD! I would never have called that! Great great opportunity for Corbin. I hope they don’t waste it now. He has potential to be a big star.
So now we’re missing Rock, The Wyatts and the main event. So do we think the Wyatts and Rock are part of the main event? Scratch that, here comes Rocky right now…
2. Between a Rock and a Creepy Place
…and hes got…a gun?
Oh no sorry, of course not, it’s a flame thrower! I have zero idea what that was all about but I guess IT DOESNT MATTER! Did they bring in the Rock to do the crowd number work? (101,763) Awesome how they managed to fit 20,000 more people in than the building can actually hold.
I knew them pesky Wyatts were about! I love a Wyatt promo. He’s really good. “you represent a lie” yeah, the bulls**t attendance figure for one. Great promo! I like Rocky having a dig too, always good for a laugh. OH S**t we’re getting a match! Well not quite. AND CENA!!! This is turning into a mega Mania! Great segment. Rowan didn’t deserve a 6 second pin but a really good spot none the less.
another gummy worm…
1. It’s Time for the Main Event!
So finally time for the main event. I would say Triple H’s entrance just jumped the shark but to be fair he has currently jumped about 14 sharks and a Cthulu. Steff is like a hammy mad Max villain. Its all a bit much really. I really do think I might be on a caffeine high at this point because I’m seeing an army of space zombies.
Still not a great reception for Roman. What does he have to do to get over? I think hes been great recently. Well, better at least. They’re throwing some heavy hits around and Steff is her usual, evil, excellent self. This is a pretty great match. I think the crowd are being harsh on Reigns really. He deserves some respect at least.
Holy s**t! That spear on Steff was brutal! He almost broke her in half. Never let it be said he doesn’t suffer for her work. That was a hard bump for anyone to take. Some nice 1,2, not today near falls and a pretty decent finish. The crowd suddenly seem to be behind Roman a little more and well deserved. He has done some great work lately and this match was no exception. Not a blockbuster but a fine main event no doubt.
So thats another Mania done! I am shattered. Its 5.30am. I’m full of monster, pizza and gummy worms and I’m a happy wrestling fan once more.
I really enjoyed 32. There were some great matches and moments. Plenty of surprises and some great memories made. I’m really stoked for tommorow’s RAW now. Whats gonna happen with Baron Corbin, Roman, Zayn, Owens, Ryder and so many others and the best part? Its only 364 days until WrestleMania 33!
I hope you enjoyed Mania 32 as much as did. If so let me know in the comments below!