Welcome to a new article series here on We Write Wrestling entitled, “We Book” where your favorite(because honestly, we’re all your favorite) We Write Wrestling staff members pick a wrestling card, share their thoughts on it, book it and explain what they’d do to follow their choices. In this edition, We Book WWE WrestleMania 32. This is part 1 of 3 of our conversation.
Editor-In-Chief of We Write Wrestling. He’s pulling his hair out trying to provide you all with the best content possible during WrestleMania week. He hopes he’s doing an okay job.
ZBestInTheWorld – Twitter
Z and Ryan go way back. He is the host of The Worked Wrestling Podcast with Trey Lee that drops new episodes pretty much whenever they feel like it(have time).
André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Ryan: YO Z!
Ryan: How would you book the André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal?
Z: Honestly, I don’t even know man. All of the “just need that little push” kind of people are all hurt or gone, ya know? If he was here, I’d book Titus to win it, with Ryback being my 2nd choice, but neither will be in the Battle Royal. Honestly its one big cluster of people WWE know nothing to do with. They’re trying to book it like Kane or Big Show is winning, but neither one of them really need it. Well, they would benefit the least from winning it. It’s a shame they didn’t capitalize on the huge pop and momentum Cesaro got from winning it, but its proof that it can be a legitimate weapon to make a star, if done correctly.
Ryan: I’d have Heath Slater win it. Partly because I’m a huge fan of his and because we all know this match doesn’t mean anything anymore and WWE knows that we know that so why not? Have Slater win it and the other Outcasts can’t believe it and they think they’re on top of the world. Then just have them get beat down by Show and Kane or whatever for a couple weeks since they’ll probably do that anyway.
Z: I like the idea, but I feel like they should at least try to keep this as a legit thing and not a joke. You could have Heath win, have the outcast overjoyed that he did it, but then it either gets to his head or the other outcasts get jealous of his success (wins the Battle Royal, wins his next few matches, gets a distraction win over a champion, etc.) and have either them turn on him, or vice versa. A Kane and Big Show beatdown afterwards, or them not turning it into anything would just cement the fact that it doesn’t mean anything. So then the next time they try to make it mean something, they’re gonna struggle.
Ryan: I see what you mean.
The Usos vs. The Dudley Boyz
Z: This is one of the few matches where WWE hasn’t backed themselves into a corner. Either team could win, and it would be alright. You could have the Usos win and have a special Mania moment. But here’s the more interesting option: The Dudleyz DESTROY the Usos, the next night on Raw, either the Dudleyz come out and say how they beat the shit out of the Usos, or they have another match and squash the Usos. Then, while the Usos are getting beaten down, cue Enzo and Cass’s music, and there’s a new feud. I’m not saying Enzo and Cass vs the Dudleyz would be my first choice for them to feud with, I’m just saying, it would be a cool outcome to stem from the Mania match.
Ryan: But then you have the Dudleys who have yet to win a feud, who squash Usos like they aren’t The Rock’s cousins, just losing to a new team? I’m a fan of Cass and Enzo, but them beating the Dudleys just hurts Bubba and D in my eyes.
Z: It’s was just a theory, not saying that’s what they should do, but I don’t have much to work with, with how thin the tag division is. Heck, here’s an interesting idea: They could have made it a Trios match and made Trios titles. Bring Spike back, give the Usos another partner and make something out of it. I’m just throwing ideas out there. With this match there’s not really a defined way to book it, which is why it’s one of the matches I’m interested in. Has the build been spectacular? No, not really, but the outcome and the aftermath is what intrigues me the most.
Ryan: Since they’re pushing them as heels, here’s what I would do. I’d have Dudleys go over cleanly except each of the Usos almost roll Devon up for the win during the match. It obviously bothers Bubba and he’s the one who gets the win. No tag team finisher, a straight powerbomb and pin from Bubba. After the match, Devon confronts Bubba about the finish and that’s when he snaps, knocks down Devon, trash talking him, etc and lays him out with a Powerbomb. Then we get Bully Ray. Maybe have Devon vs Bubba the next month at Extreme Rules or whatever in a Tables match where it’s a big ECW moment or something and have Bubba win, going into his singles push.
Z: That’s an interesting concept also, and I would honestly love to see them do that. If WWE books the Bully Ray character correctly, this could turn out really well
The Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox and Eva Marie) vs. B.A.D. & Blonde (Naomi, Tamina, Lana, Emma and Summer Rae)
Ryan: But let’s talk about the cool off. Team Lana vs Team Natalya because honestly, nobody else matters in this match. What would you do?
Z: Well, I’d probably have Eva turn on the rest of the Total Divas cast and keep her heel. You heard the massive boo’s she got when she came out on Monday, trying to force a face run out of her would be a catastrophe. But it’s WWE, and we all know how they feel about their “Total Divas Crew”, with the exception of a few, if they’re supposed to be liked on the show, they’re a face, and vice versa. Her ring work still isn’t the best, but she has somewhat improved, and the overall natural hatred for her would make her a great heel. She’s snobby, acts entitled even though she can’t wrestle, seems oblivious to the fact that she can’t wrestle, and people just hate seeing her in TV, it would be perfect. How would you book this thing?
Ryan: Alright, I’d have not Eva Marie turn on her team, but Natalya. I’d do that to give BAD and Blonde their win and turn Natalya. You may be thinking how turning on the Total Divas would be a heel turn, I’ll talk about that in a moment. The next night Total Divas demand an answer on why she turned on them. Natalya says that everyone on the cast is fake and only cares about being the star of the show. While she was out taking care of TJ, Naomi was the only one to contact her and actually care what was going on with her, and Naomi isn’t even on the show anymore. She then calls out their “fakeness” even more by pointing out how Eva Marie comes back all of a sudden and all the Total Divas are friends. Again, you may be thinking that this is a face turn for Natalya, that’s why we stick her with Tamina. It’s those two in tag matches for a few weeks, have Tamina wrestle most of the matches to get people bored and eventually boo, then have Natalya do some heelish things and sooner or later, she’s a heel. People loved Naomi but giving her Tamina helped her get booed. If we want to take it a step further, Natalya can alternate between Tamina as a tag partner and Summer Rae.
Z: So why would you want a heel Natalya? It could definitely work, I’m just asking out of curiosity. I feel like she’s be more effective as a face, so I’m curious why you chose the heel route.
Ryan: Because a heel Natalya is a change of pace the division needs, at least with this part of the division. Maybe I’d do it for the shock factor and to change things up a bit. That’d also give a breath of life into Natalya and set her up for Tyson Kidd’s return and heel turn on Cesaro.
Z: That would actually work really well. Have Cesaro and Kidd confront her about her actions then they both turn on Cesaro, keeping him heel and changing things up a bit for Natalya and Kidd. Would also keep Cesaro as a single guy so he could move on to maybe winning some singles titles, ya know?
Ryan: And I know this is off topic, but those two would then go on to a Best of 5 series for the United States title(which Cesaro wins before Kidd comes back)
Z: Hey, it’s aftermath from the Mania match, so we’ll count it as on topic.